Friday, January 05, 2007

Nightime...

I recently grabbed a bunch of loose pages from a notepad I keep next to my bed...these are the tidbits of my brain I captured at any particular moment. Odd. Very odd. I have no idea where I was going with some of these thoughts.

It's the day to day intimacies that create a relationship.

Every story needs a great opening line- the hook, catch to lure the reader into the great unknown about to unfold. But not mine. I never start anything off right, why should I start with a story? The best intentions flounder, falter, fall flat.

Reluctantly trapped by choice between a couch, university window and a girl young enough to seriously question the birth date on her licence when buying a bottle of wine...

I hesitated when my counselor in training asked ,"Would your life be better off if your father was still alive?" What did she know? Nothing. What was she trying to prove? And where did that question come from anyhow? Did I imply otherwise? I hesitated.

The unknown comforts me. The chaos, the confusion not knowing exactly what, but knowing what I imagine to be. Never knowing fully...Loving, trusting but doubting. Not if one decision is wrong. Not about the regrets- what if? But rather, what if all the options are, right...

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